Knocked Out By A Lock Out

 

Ever been locked out of your house? Frustrating, right? Ever been locked out with all the kids in tow, including a 1.5-year-old who is 2 hours past nap time?

Yup, this just happened to me; be prepared to laugh at how this lock out was a complete knock out!

 

The Warmup:

Luis was traveling for work and I’m all mom-proud because I got off my butt on a Saturday morning and planned a fun play date with a neighborhood mom and her 3 kids who happen to be the exact same age as 3 of my boys.

We got there on time, we played hard, had so much fun and pushed it way past nap time. As we pulled into the driveway, I warned the big boys that they had to quietly get into dry clothes and eat their lunch because Baby Jack desperately needed to go down for his nap. We bundled up all the toys, wet clothes, water bottles, and 500 other things one brings for an outing at the pool into our arms and bumbled our way to the front door… only to find that the batteries were dead on our keypad, leaving us no way to get into the house. And mind you, it’s 100 degrees in Central Florida on a beautiful August weekend. Yeah, beautiful.

 

Round 1: “Where’s the Spare Key?”

Then I remembered that one time long ago, we had placed a spare key in the center console of the minivan, no problem! I grabbed the set of 3 keys and jammed each one into the lock. It didn’t turn. NOT THE RIGHT KEYS., Oh yeah, these were the keys to the OLD lock, not this new one we bought last year. Ok, sucker punch one.

Then, I remembered that one time, not quite as long ago, we had placed a spare key in the backyard under the propane fire pit. I ran through the gate to the backyard and checked, no luck, it’s no longer there. Sucker punch two.

Frustrated with Jack screaming in my ear, refusing to be put down and the rest of the boys laughing and playing not even understanding how hard this was for me, I called Luis in the middle of his meeting across the country. I wish I was all sweet and apologetic for interrupting him, but I was barking at him like this was totally his fault that the batteries had run out, that I had no idea where our spare key was, and that he was on travel.

This sweet man answered and asked all the same questions I asked myself: Did you check the keys in the console? Did you find the key under the fire pit? Then he asked if I checked in the hollow pipe of the big umbrella stand. OMG NO, NOT YET!! But then it dawned on me, just yesterday I was looking at that broken old stand thinking I should throw it out when Jack ran over and tossed a bunch of toys in it. He cried for them back, but it was so broken I couldn’t actually get them out, so I left them in there… right on top of any potential key that might be in there!

 

Round 2: Find it at all costs!

Instead of thanking Luis for the idea, I barked at him again and hung up on him. Yup… this is now mom-rage. I head back to the yard, tip the umbrella stand upside down and shake it like crazy. Those toys are all stuck in there; nothing is falling out. I slam it down in complete frustration… and it shines up into my eyes. There is a single key just sitting right on top of all those stupid toys. And. I. Can’t. Get. It. Out. GRRR, more mom-rage.

Ok, so by now I’m just plain mad. I was so sick of carrying the screaming baby, that I put Jack in his car seat and turned the car on so he could scream in there instead of in my ear while I attempted all of this MacGyver stuff. The other boys were playing with water guns in the yard, and I was completely sweating, just staring at the key I desperately needed but couldn’t get out.

You know those news reports you hear about where someone is in a terrifying situation, and they do something superhuman because of the adrenaline? Like their kid is trapped under a car so they lift the whole car up with one hand? Yeah, you should see what an old umbrella stand looks like when a raging mom breaks it apart with her bare hands with the rust running everywhere like blood. But hey, I got the key!

I ran to the front door like a kid going to Disney World and jammed the key into the lock. It didn’t turn. NOT THE RIGHT KEY. Sucker punch 3, I’m just plain done.

 

Round 3: The Knock-Out

Wait, the side garage door. YES, YES, YES!! I ran around the house for like the 37^th time now to the side door and it works!!! Thank heavens!

I made my way through the garage in the complete dark because the light is on the other side by the house door, tripped over millions of boxes and baseballs and toys and who knows what else that was piled there (Luis, again, I’m mad at you!). I reach the light, turn it on and put the key into the door to the house. It didn’t turn. NOT THE RIGHT KEY.

In complete desperation, I called Luis back, not even apologizing that I had hung up on him earlier. He proceeded to tell me how great my situation was, that I had made it in, and I sat there thinking, “hey dummy, did you listen to anything I said?!?! I’m stuck in the garage now!!!” But in true Luis fashion, he walked me through how to break into our own door with little to no damage and I finally got myself into the house. Jab, jab, cross, uppercut… TKO!!!

 

I looked like I lost the biggest fight of my life; I was dripping with sweat, had an annihilated umbrella holder, a screaming, tired toddler and very hot, grouchy boys. But I stood there, soaking in the crisp AC, hands in the air, and I knew I had actually just won. And I quickly put all those little terrors down for naps, not because they all needed it, but because Mama did!